Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Maz Top 3: Magic Kingdom Attractions

My next top three list had a small flaw. It was to be The Maz Top 3 attractions in the Magic Kingdom. The flaw was that I am hard pressed to come up with my top 3. In my mind there are about a half dozen attractions(I'm trying hard not to say ride) that could be my number two ride in the MK. Based on that, this week I will name The Maz Bottom 3 attractions in the Magic Kingdom.

The number 3 Maz Bottom attraction is the Mad Tea Party. For those that might not know what this is, sit on your chair in the office and spin it around and pick up your feet. There you go. Okay, there is a little more to it than that, but not much. There is no queue theming. The ride only lasts 1 and a half minutes and after the age of 21 you have a very good shot at getting nauseous from it. I liked Alice in Wonderland just like the next peson, but not enough to bring me back to liking this ride. I'll leave you two thoughts, first, this is a ride that can be found in many amusement parks so what's the big deal. The other thought and perhaps a saving grace is at least we get a chance to watch a little Church Group Mom Whoop Ass the next time we wait on line for this. (That is just one more acronym for the masses; C.G.M.W.A.)
My second worst ride in the Magic Kingdom is the The Magic Carpets of Aladdin. I can see trying to get Aladdin into the park as the movie was very popular, but didn't Iago and his appearance over at the Tiki Room warn you about this? As everyone points out, this is Dumbo light. But there is a difference. At least on this ride you can get sprayed by water. I've been on it three times and each time we were not able to control the carpet. Waiting 45 plus minutes for this? I just don't get it. I rated this worse than the Tea Cups because the Tea Cups were created long ago and are traditional. Aladdin's Magic Rugs was built in the 1990's. No excuse. I love the scene from Mickey's Philharmagic of Aladdin and Jasmine. Let's chalk that up as the Aladdin reference and get rid of the Carpet ride. How about re-configuring that space for a nice Adventureland themed Rest.

And now the Absolute bottom most attraction at the Magic Kingdom is the Tomorrowland Indy Speedway. First of all, Tomorrowland? I think the model for the cars is very Yesterdayland. The other sad note about the TIS is that we will be driving gas powered cars in the 'Future'.
Now a word about the line at any given time of the day except for 5 minutes after rope drop:LOOOOOOOOOONG. Here is a quote from

"Since the queue is long and in an unshaded area, it's a good idea to bring a
bottle of water with you as you wait for your turn around the Speedway."

This is one rides line and they are telling you to take water. I see a couple Buzzards circling even now. If your real lucky, there might be a warm humid breeze blowing the fumes into the queue. Then you get in a car that only a kid really fits into. After you fold up your legs and begin your trip on a nice 7.5 mph cruise. Provided the little guy in front of you doesn't forget how to make the car go or you've got the pig of the cars and are getting rammed by the guy behind you or your engine dies in the middle of the track.(it happens) The last nail in the coffin of this attraction and it even over-rides the idea that this attraction was a WDW attraction from day one. This is another ride that can be found on any Boardwalk or amusement park around the World. So my advice to you little guys. When you get to that magic 52" mark and can get up early, ride it as much as you can. That'll end.
So that is the Bottom Maz 3 of the Magic Kingdom. What do you think?

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